Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
