dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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