I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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