No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
