just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
