I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
