..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
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we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
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do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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