He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
