I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
