i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
