They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
