No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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