Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize