I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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