I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
