I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
