Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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