hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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