She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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