Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
