So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
