i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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