It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You don't make any sense
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