I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
