Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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