I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
