Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize