Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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