I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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