Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
