just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
party gras won. party gras always wins.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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