Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize