he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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