whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
