Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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