I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
