he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
