Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
