goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
