I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
