Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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