he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
