Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
