so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize