He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
