Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
