Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
