i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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