Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
