If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
