Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
