gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
