she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
