You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
