She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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