he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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