I didn't shave. On purpose
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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