oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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