Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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