Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
