I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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