hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
