you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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