I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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