Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She bit a glass in half.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
