Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
