If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
