she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
