everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
